Do people tend to gain weight after they “settle down” with a romantic partner?  This is a question that interests some researchers.  While there are still questions to be answered about this issue, a number of studies have found that obesity appears to be associated with romantic couples living together (married or not) and that there is a stronger association the longer the couple has lived together.

A study done in 2009 suggested that this relationship has less to do with having traits in common and more to do with environment.  The researchers found that living with a romantic partner for two or more years was correlated with obesity and sedentary behavior.

I don’t think this is terribly surprising to most people.  However, studies that find relationships like these don’t mean that weight gain and obesity are an inevitable part of living with the one you love.  It does mean that if you don’t want to be one of the statistics, you have to put some serious thought and work into the matter.

Creating a lifestyle of activity, nutritious eating, health, and weight management as a couple isn’t easy within our fast-paced, sedentary, and fast food-laden culture but, if it’s important to you, it’s, without a doubt, possible.

That’s exactly what my husband and I did when we got married and started a home-life together. We’ve lived together 13 years.  We have jobs that require a considerable amount of sitting – much like many other Americans.  These jobs, added to the other characteristics of the typical American lifestyle (such as amount of time required to drive to destinations, household time-saving devices like washers and dryers, and sedentary leisure activities such as television and the internet) would definitely get in the way of our health and fitness if we didn’t make sure that they didn’t.

Oftentimes, we hear ourselves say that we don’t have time to take better care of ourselves or that we have too many responsibilities to have the time to be fit.  When it comes to health and fitness, however, few people HAVE the time.  It must be important enough for us to make it a priority – important enough to make us WANT to MAKE the time.  Sure it will take some creativity and habit changing.  And maybe other people might not like our decision.  But, the time won’t magically appear and wishing won’t make it happen either.

Once you’ve made that decision, however, you can have a wonderful adventure together and, not only will you get leaner and healthier, but your relationship can be enhanced by it, also.

Here are some things that my hubby and I do to keep ourselves lean and healthy instead of growing fat and, maybe, sick together:

• Eating: We strive to improve eating by learning about cooking and shopping for nutritious foods.  We share the responsibility of grocery shopping, maintaining a grocery list, and shopping often enough to have good choices around.  We look for fast, easy ways to make nutritious meals.  Each specializes in dishes that contribute to the household.  My husband makes the hummus and salads.  I make pasta sauce, bread, and health cookies.
• Exercise:  We take a daily one-hour walk and make sure we leave time for it in our busy schedules.  This is when we talk about our day and future plans.  It’s a great way to have quality relationship time.  In addition, we each have individual exercise time.  He has a particular muscle strengthening routine and I have mine.  And we support and praise each other’s efforts.
• Leisure: We like to watch some TV programs but often use TV time to do catch up on other activities.  Commercials are good times to get clothes washed, dried, and folded, for example, and stretching can be done while watching a program. Sure, we sometimes just “veg out” but it’s not most of the time.
• Hobbies-I’ve been a gardener for years and now my husband has discovered the joys of gardening.  We split responsibilities in the yard and take walks through the garden to view our handy-work. Gardening is active but provides a lot of relaxation at the same time.
• Vacations –We prefer trips to places where we can hike and locations where we can walk a lot rather than ones where the focus is on eating.   Even airport time can be made more active by taking a walk around the airport together (or separately while one watches the luggage) instead sitting for hours at the gates.

You and your spouse don’t have to do things exactly as we do, but if you start with realizing that it’s up to you to make the initial decision and follow it with creativity, you won’t be one of the statistics.  And what if your spouse won’t join you down the road to health?  Well, don’t let that stop you.  Do it anyway.  Your spouse may join you later when he or she sees what it’s doing for you.

People being treated for eating disorders and other eating related problems often believe that they’re more dysfunctional than they actually are.  Invariably, I find myself showing patients that many of the behaviors they think are unique and “weird” about themselves are experienced by people they consider “normal eaters.”

Most articles discussing the differences between thin and overweight people focus on the things that thin people do better than overweight people, but what do these thinner people have in common with those that have problems with their eating and weight?

Here are some of the most common misperceptions my patients have about normal eaters:

• They never overeat – The truth is that most people sometimes overeat – it’s normal.  Those people who consider their health and fitness a priority, however, do pay attention to when they have overeaten, try to make subsequent meals more balanced, and try to increase activity.
• They don’t have sweet cravings – Sweet tastes are particularly pleasurable to humans and most people have sweet cravings from time to time.  The normal eater will not panic or get anxious when they get a sweet craving.  In fact, they will readily admit they’re having one since they see no shame in it.  Then they will satisfy it as soon as possible by asking themselves what it is that they want, getting what they want instead of some dissatisfying substitute, and proceed to savor every bite.  Because of how they treat their sweet cravings, however, most of the time they’re able to feel satisfied with a normal portion.
• They have healthy diets – The truth is that just because someone does not appear overweight doesn’t mean that they eat healthily.  In fact, some overweight people eat better than some thinner people.
• They exercise – Unfortunately, most people do not exercise regularly regardless of whether or not they have eating problems.  Sedentary lifestyles are pervasive in our society.
• They eat only when they’re hungry – Although people who don’t have eating and weight problems usually don’t eat when they aren’t hungry, people do sometimes eat when they’re not hungry.  If this were not the case, we wouldn’t have desserts.  Desserts are eaten after a meal – when people are no longer hungry.  Eating when we’re not hungry too frequently can certainly lead to health problems but everyone sometimes eats when they’re not hungry.
• They never gain weight or watch their weight –The truth is that people who are successful managing their weight experience weight fluctuations, too.  It’s normal.  Most people who don’t have eating problems have a weight range that their body goes through as they live out their lives.  However, most of these people don’t focus excessively on it.  They understand that the pattern is normal for them. Typically, the weight shift can be easily attributed to some temporary change in lifestyle (i.e. eating out more or less often, eating or moving more while on vacation, or not having engaged in the usual exercise program). Invariably, the person gets back to their regular lifestyle shifting the weight back to its usual place.  For others, they calmly note the change, its cause, and then consciously set about correcting the behavior that has caused any weight gain by getting back to their healthy lifestyle.
• They never lose control of eating – Although this is generally true, most people have experienced times where they’ve felt out of control with their eating after being ravenously hungry.  Interestingly, a normal eating person might refer to this as simply “pigging out.”  The emotional roller coaster that the binger puts themselves through when they lose control is what makes it a binge.  Feeling a loss of control with eating isn’t seen as a character flaw by the normal eater.  It’s just a function of not having eaten properly to begin with.  In this case, avoiding intense hunger helps prevent the problem in the future.

Understanding that “normal” eaters aren’t perfect eaters can be a relief to those with food and weight problems.  It helps them resolve their eating issues sooner when they know they’re not so different after all.  In fact, the best known professionals in the weight and fitness field don’t do things perfectly themselves.  It may look like they do and they may even suggest that they do, but they don’t.

“Normal” eaters that are mindful of their health pay attention to the behaviors that can take them in the wrong direction with their health and weight.  They do it with a relaxed mind, however.  They use “concern” rather than “self-punishment” and strive for “improvement” rather than “perfection”.  A good average is all that’s necessary.  Expecting that your behaviors be perfect and thinking that you’re different from others because of your imperfections only leads to low self-esteem, frustration, and giving up on achieving health and fitness.  So let’s all strive for good health while accepting our imperfections.  After all, they’re normal.

What are the Most Effective Cellulite Control Methods?

It’s a fact – there is no cure for cellulite. However, there are proven ways of cellulite control that are realistic and won’t break the bank.

Cellulite is nothing more than fat under the skin which tends to look like cottage cheese primarily on the thighs and butt. There is no other substance feared and hated more by women. The desire to get rid of it is so strong that women will go to great financial and risk-taking lengths to be free of it. Billions are spent on products and treatment methods promising to make it disappear. Some of these products sound logical and others are down-right silly, but none of these get rid of cellulite. That’s the sad truth.

Since there is so much money to be made from products promising to get rid of cellulite, Americans will continue to be bombarded by advertisements pushing ineffective products and treatments. It’s up to the consumer to educate herself and not be vulnerable to such scams. The good news, however, is that by becoming an educated consumer there will no longer be wasted time trying things that don’t work. The time will be spent using effective methods of controlling the appearance of cellulite.

If Cellulite is Just Fat Why Does It Look Lumpy in Some Places and Not in Others?

Areas of the body where more fat tends to be deposited and where skin is thinner are where the fat will take on the appearance of cottage cheese. That is why it tends to appear mainly on thighs, butt, and stomach.

There are several factors that influence whether you will get cellulite or not. They are:

• Gender-More women than men get cellulite.
• Genetics-It tends to run in families.
• Fat-The more fat on the body overall, the more likely cellulite will show.
• Skin Thickness-The thinner the skin the more cellulite will show. Women and certain ethnic groups, in general, have thinner skin than others and are more prone to showing cellulite.
• Age-The older you get the more likely that cellulite will appear. This has to do with changes in the thickness of the skin as we age.

What are Some Ineffective Products and Treatments for Cellulite?

The numbers of products that are sold as cellulite treatments are numerous but here are a few:

• Massage-the argument is that cellulite is caused by poor circulation and massage will improve circulation.
• Topical creams-meant to “dissolve” cellulite.
• Vitamins, minerals and herbs
• Body wraps
• Spa treatments

Some products may give a temporary appearance of improvement due to plumping of the skin rather than an actual decrease in cellulite.

Neither liposuction nor Smartlipo is approved by the FDA for getting rid of cellulite. Despite any advertising or anecdotal claims to the contrary, there is no good science demonstrating that these expensive procedures are effective with getting rid of cellulite. To date, most doctors (including plastic surgeons) still recommend getting fit as the most effective way to control cellulite.

What are the Most Effective Ways to Control Cellulite?

Get fit. Gradually reduce overall fat, increase muscle mass through strength training, drink plenty of water, and eat healthily. It’s an inexpensive method and it doesn’t waste your time. There’s no magical cure for cellulite but by doing what works, you’ll also achieve other health and appearance benefits.

The Psychological Approach to Dealing with Cellulite

• Accept that cellulite is just fat.
• Think about the factors such as age, gender, and heredity that may be involved in your problem with cellulite.
• Learn how to best lose overall fat and tone muscles so that you can reduce cellulite in a direct way.
• When you’ve done all you can do sensibly, move on with life. Keep working on getting fit and have fun. Don’t let cellulite get in your way.

© 2009 Lavinia Rodriguez

The Realities of Belly Fat and What can be Done About It

Many people buy into gimmicks for losing belly fat without understanding the basics of how belly fat can be eliminated.

Why is belly fat so difficult to get rid of? Can belly fat be spot-reduced? Can diet alone get rid of belly fat? Can abdominal exercises alone make fat around the belly go away? These are questions that are asked by millions wanting to be free of the unattractive fat around their middle. Belly fat can be gotten rid of but having a good understanding of what it is and how the body works can prevent a lot of frustration and failure when attempting to slim the gut.

What About All Those Products that Say They Eliminate Belly Fat?

One thing is abundantly clear. Products that claim to single out belly fat through a particular exercise or pill don’t work. An indication of this can be noted in the small print that recommends one go on a diet and general exercise program while being on the product. It’s the general exercise and diet that actually causes the fat loss. Unfortunately, people who continue ignoring their previous failures with these types of products and fool themselves into thinking that the next product will be the panacea, are wasting a lot of time when they could be doing what works even if it takes effort and time. It’s the tortoise and the hare story all over again. The tortoise always wins.

Is it True That I Can Get My Body to Spot Reduce Belly Fat?

There’s no such thing as spot reducing. The body burns fat all over and genetics has a lot to do with how an individual’s body burns fat. For some people it seems that their upper body loses weight faster than their lower body. Some women lose weight in their breasts more rapidly than around their waist. There are also some general gender differences in how fat is lost. Women tend to hang on to fat around their thighs and hips. Men tend to find the same problem with their guts. It’s a myth, however, that you can decide where you want to lose the fat and then come up with particular exercises that will do just that.

If I Can’t Spot Reduce, How Do I Lose the Gut?

Belly fat is most successfully reduced through consistent aerobic exercise, muscle resistance exercise and a balanced diet. No surprise there but it truly is what works. Of course, as previously mentioned, the belly fat is being lost along with other fat around the body. It’s general fat loss.

So How Do I Start to Lose Belly Fat?

It’s definitely possible to lose belly fat. What a person has to understand is that in order to lose it and do it permanently, you have to do the following:

1. Accept the reality of how the body works and how fat is burned.
2. Surrender to the fact that there is no such thing as spot reducing no matter what anyone tells you.
3. Look at your body as a whole – striving for overall fat reduction and muscle toning.
4. Start a frequent (at least five days per week) aerobic exercise plan of your choice to burn fat all over.
5. Start a muscle building and toning exercise program that you will do two to three days per week which will work on building muscle overall for more fat burning and to tone abdominal muscles.
6. Finally, you have to make your exercise program a priority and keep it fun.

By embracing the realities of belly fat and being willing to be the tortoise who consistently works even if it’s at a slower pace than everyone else, the race will be won but permanently.

Previously published in www.Suite101.com June 16, 2009

Obesity is officially an epidemic in the United States.  Today I viewed a webcast from Washington, D.C. about the obesity epidemic.  It looks like in the near future we will be experiencing many cultural changes in order to help rid our country of this dangerous and costly epidemic.  Some of these changes may include banning transfats from restaurants, taxing unhealthy foods such as sodas, making healthy foods more available to the public and making healthy foods cheaper than unhealthy foods.

None of this would be necessary, however,  if our lifestyles had not changed so drastically in the past 30 or more years.  Today the average American is 23 pounds overweight.  Americans are more dependent on their cars to do even the simplest chore outside of their houses.  People have become more dependent on other people and machines to do things for them that people used to do themselves such as housecleaning and car washing.  Preferred pastimes, hobbies and recreation have become more sedentary activities.

It’s only been 38 years since I was in high school.  Due to an upcoming reunion I was looking through old pictures of my classmates and noticed something interesting.  No one in my school was obese and I was hard pressed to find someone that would be considered overweight.

I’ve done many unscientific studies of the percentage of overweight people I find while going about my daily life  such as waiting in line for something.  In every instance in the past few years the majority of people I encounter are overweight or obese.  This is a drastic difference from when I was in high school.

What was different about my generation at high school age?  For one thing we were outside more than we were inside if we weren’t in school.  We walked a great deal.  We had no computers or computer games.  In addition, we had less fattening foods available to us.  It’s easy to manage weight with an environment like this.  We wouldn’t even need gyms and formal exercise anymore as life itself would take care of things.

What Can You Do About the Obesity Epidemic?

The government is going to institute changes in our society in order to combat the obesity epidemic but everyone can do something to start the ball rolling in their own lives.  Here are some tips for doing just that:

• Do chores around the house yourself.
• Walk as much as  possible.  Be creative.  You can probably walk to more places than you thought.
• Take the longest route when using foot power.
• Use a bike instead of the car whenever possible.
• If buying a house, buy a house with stairs if you’re able.
• Have more active get-togethers.
• Whenever possible, do it yourself.
• Wash your own car and do your own gardening.  It will take the same time that going to the gym will take, no more.
• Always choose the method that uses the most energy.
• Reduce consumption of processed foods.
• Shop primarily the outside aisle of grocery stores where the less processed foods are located.

These are just some suggestions.  With some thought and research many more can be discovered.  The government can help with the obesity epidemic but each individual has the most control over changing their lifestyle to one that is naturally fat burning.

“Fat Americans” – that’s how we’re referred to in other countries.  Look at the facts:  Americans keep getting fatter; no other country comes out with more diets, diet programs and dieting aids; and the dieting industry is making tons of money. Does this sound right? Who is benefiting here? It doesn’t seem to be the consumers. If diets work, why are Americans continuing to get fatter each year? Why are our children fatter than ever before?

Perhaps it’s time for consumers to get smarter about choosing what or who they are going to believe when it comes to how to get lean and fit. What we’ve been doing is just not working folks. What the dieting industry is selling isn’t working. It’s time to stop depending on the dieting industry to tell us what we should do since we aren’t getting what you want from them.

This is the reason I wrote my book, Mind Over Fat Matters: Conquering Psychological Barriers to Weight Management. I want people to be smarter consumers. Yes, I do want people to be healthy, lean and fit, but I also want them to learn what works and doesn’t work. The first step, however, is to face up and admit to yourself, and to the dieting industry, that if it hasn’t worked after so many years, you are going to have to let go of it. Let go of attempts that haven’t ever worked. It’s time to find another way – maybe it won’t sound like the panaceas the dieting industry has been selling, but maybe if it sounds like the panaceas that the dieting industry is selling, that’s the indication that it’s not going to work.  The “Fat American” needs to be a thing of the past.