“I messed up again! Now I’m back to square one. What’s the use!”

Sound familiar? That’s the self-defeating voice that tells us to quit our healthy eating program whenever we’re less than perfect. It gets louder than ever during the holidays.

It’s a stressful time and stress is known to push us to eat mindlessly. It’s also a time when we’re rushed, making it hard to have regular meals at home. Then there are the scores of party invitations and the high-calorie, high-fat foods crossing our paths continually.

Maybe it’s time to adjust our expectations of ourselves, and consider a new way to manage weight and health during the holidays.

NO TO THE NEGATIVE

The verbal “recordings” that become embedded in our minds through the years and are played over and over again can have a huge impact on our lives.

But these recordings can be edited and even deleted if we’re willing to face them.

I like to think about losing and managing weight as more like a marathon than a sprint.

The marathoner must first train in order to gain fitness and endurance. This includes feeding the body well and knowing when to rest. Running a successful marathon requires pacing. Running too fast means risking injury and possibly having to quit. Winning runners know that they must ignore others that may pass them and keep focus on their own pace.

All of which should sound a lot like weight management. Yet many people treat it more like a sprint, resorting to fad diets and expect large, fast losses.

This sprinter’s mentality applied to a marathon event like weight management sets the dieter up for failure. Familiar self-defeating thoughts then take over. “What’s the use? I failed again.”

The holidays are particularly tough for people with the sprinter’s mentality about weight. Their unreasonable expectations extend to thinking that even during the most elaborate feasts, they’ll pass up all the goodies. They inevitably disappoint themselves and give up.

If they had taken the long-distance runner’s perspective, they would hang in there during the tough times, just like the marathoner gets through the “wall,” and continue past the holidays without losing motivation.

Perhaps they don’t lose weight during the holidays, and maybe they aren’t “perfect,” but they are far more likely to maintain rather than gain. They’re also more likely to enjoy the festivities.

Above all, dieters with more realistic expectations and proper pacing don’t quit. They can continue successfully managing their weight for life, one progressive step at a time.

CREATE NEW MIND-SET

So how about replacing the old, self-defeating thoughts with these:

. “I’m not going to try to do anything extreme during the holidays this year.”

. “I’ll pace myself, stay calm, and focus on the positive.”

. “I won’t let myself get too hungry before eating, I’ll make physical activity a priority, and I’ll feed my body nutritious things.

. “What I do will be more important than the number on the scale and if I’m able to maintain my weight instead of gaining, I’ll consider that a success and continue on.”

So, think of the changes you want to make with weight – and other health goals – like the long-distance runner thinks of the next marathon. Stay calm and pace yourself.

Previously published in the St. Petersburg Times

Do people tend to gain weight after they “settle down” with a romantic partner?  This is a question that interests some researchers.  While there are still questions to be answered about this issue, a number of studies have found that obesity appears to be associated with romantic couples living together (married or not) and that there is a stronger association the longer the couple has lived together.

A study done in 2009 suggested that this relationship has less to do with having traits in common and more to do with environment.  The researchers found that living with a romantic partner for two or more years was correlated with obesity and sedentary behavior.

I don’t think this is terribly surprising to most people.  However, studies that find relationships like these don’t mean that weight gain and obesity are an inevitable part of living with the one you love.  It does mean that if you don’t want to be one of the statistics, you have to put some serious thought and work into the matter.

Creating a lifestyle of activity, nutritious eating, health, and weight management as a couple isn’t easy within our fast-paced, sedentary, and fast food-laden culture but, if it’s important to you, it’s, without a doubt, possible.

That’s exactly what my husband and I did when we got married and started a home-life together. We’ve lived together 13 years.  We have jobs that require a considerable amount of sitting – much like many other Americans.  These jobs, added to the other characteristics of the typical American lifestyle (such as amount of time required to drive to destinations, household time-saving devices like washers and dryers, and sedentary leisure activities such as television and the internet) would definitely get in the way of our health and fitness if we didn’t make sure that they didn’t.

Oftentimes, we hear ourselves say that we don’t have time to take better care of ourselves or that we have too many responsibilities to have the time to be fit.  When it comes to health and fitness, however, few people HAVE the time.  It must be important enough for us to make it a priority – important enough to make us WANT to MAKE the time.  Sure it will take some creativity and habit changing.  And maybe other people might not like our decision.  But, the time won’t magically appear and wishing won’t make it happen either.

Once you’ve made that decision, however, you can have a wonderful adventure together and, not only will you get leaner and healthier, but your relationship can be enhanced by it, also.

Here are some things that my hubby and I do to keep ourselves lean and healthy instead of growing fat and, maybe, sick together:

• Eating: We strive to improve eating by learning about cooking and shopping for nutritious foods.  We share the responsibility of grocery shopping, maintaining a grocery list, and shopping often enough to have good choices around.  We look for fast, easy ways to make nutritious meals.  Each specializes in dishes that contribute to the household.  My husband makes the hummus and salads.  I make pasta sauce, bread, and health cookies.
• Exercise:  We take a daily one-hour walk and make sure we leave time for it in our busy schedules.  This is when we talk about our day and future plans.  It’s a great way to have quality relationship time.  In addition, we each have individual exercise time.  He has a particular muscle strengthening routine and I have mine.  And we support and praise each other’s efforts.
• Leisure: We like to watch some TV programs but often use TV time to do catch up on other activities.  Commercials are good times to get clothes washed, dried, and folded, for example, and stretching can be done while watching a program. Sure, we sometimes just “veg out” but it’s not most of the time.
• Hobbies-I’ve been a gardener for years and now my husband has discovered the joys of gardening.  We split responsibilities in the yard and take walks through the garden to view our handy-work. Gardening is active but provides a lot of relaxation at the same time.
• Vacations –We prefer trips to places where we can hike and locations where we can walk a lot rather than ones where the focus is on eating.   Even airport time can be made more active by taking a walk around the airport together (or separately while one watches the luggage) instead sitting for hours at the gates.

You and your spouse don’t have to do things exactly as we do, but if you start with realizing that it’s up to you to make the initial decision and follow it with creativity, you won’t be one of the statistics.  And what if your spouse won’t join you down the road to health?  Well, don’t let that stop you.  Do it anyway.  Your spouse may join you later when he or she sees what it’s doing for you.

Do you know a diet book junkie?  That’s a person who seems always to read
the latest diet books while making no apparent changes with respect to
weight, activity, eating, or other behaviors.
They seem to get a kind of high from espousing the wonders of their latest
discovery — “Well, in Dr. Skinny’s book, How to Get Thin and Rich in 24
Hours, it says drinking eight glasses of water before lunch doubles fat
burning!”
Maybe this sounds like you.  You get excited every time you buy a new diet
book, believing that its contents are going to somehow change your weight
and your life.  You remain excited throughout the book – each page seems to
make so much sense!  It’s so exhilarating, you can’t put it down. Some of
these books even have beautiful color pictures of healthful recipes that
you know will be great to eat and definitely produce the weight loss you’ve
been hoping for.
But eventually you get to the end of the book.  What now?
“Hey, I heard there’s a new Rocky Mountain Oysters Diet book out!” That’s
the ticket, you think – another diet book.  But, is it?
Not all books about weight loss have useful and accurate information. Some
are based on ineffective fad diets and gimmicks.  Even if the book is full
of sensible and effective methods, however, that doesn’t mean it will help
you. Only you can do that.
Lifestyle changes aren’t magically absorbed simply by reading a book. And
if, like a diet book junkie, you jump from book to book, expecting magic to
strike, it’s no wonder that your eating and weight problems don’t change.
Ineffective methods never work, but effective methods only work when you
use them.  The books are simply tools; and like a hammer or screwdriver,
they won’t fix anything if all you do is look at them.
Here are some suggestions on how to kick the diet book habit and get more
positive change in your life with respect to health and weight management:
1.      Become more selective about what you read. This means becoming a
better consumer of dieting information. If a weight loss book doesn’t
promise amazingly fast weight loss, doesn’t suggest you have to buy certain
products endorsed by the author, makes good logical sense, and teaches a
program that you can follow for the rest of your life, it’s a good place to
start. Skip those that are based on fads, prescribe a rigid diet plan,
instruct you to avoid the foods you like most, and say you don’t need to
exercise.
2.      Take your time savoring what you read. Stop and think, make notes,
highlight key points, and consider how the book’s suggestions can be
incorporated into your life.
3.      Don’t jump to another book immediately. Finish the book you’re
reading, and put it into practice.  Go back through the book focusing on
what you’ve highlighted and the notes you’ve made.  Follow through with the
suggestions that you would like to incorporate into your life.
4.      Continue using what works for you, and set aside whatever doesn’t fit
your life. If you feel you need more information, the next step may be
another book but, then again, it may not.  It may be trying a class,
searching for health information online, joining a group that does
something active (like hiking), or seeing a therapist for emotional issues
that have been too difficult to solve on your own.
Reading is generally a good habit to have.  However, if you’re reading a
book with the intent of having it help you change something in your life
you have to go beyond just reading it.  You have to use it.
Kick the diet book habit in favor of taking constructive action, and you’ll
notice real changes starting to happen.  Your library of diet books may
stop growing, but who cares?  Your body and mind will be getting fitter.
Isn’t that what you wanted in the first place?

We’re all busy, so simple ways to improve our diets are in high demand. No
matter how good our intentions, most of us won’t stick with anything that
takes too much time or is burdensome, like rigidly tracking calories,
grams, and servings.  Even health experts don’t follow such regimens
perfectly, never mind for a lifetime.
So the key to making lasting, healthy change is to keep it simple and
enjoyable. Here are few tips to get more nutrition in your life:

•       SHOPPING – Good eating starts with what you buy.  Think of your
grocery cart as the foundation of an artwork or a garden project. So
naturally you’ll want to start with the most colorful foods.
These will be in the produce section.  Have fun with choosing as many
colors of fruits and vegetables as you can to make a beautiful arrangement.
Your cart will be filled with high-fiber, low-fat foods packed with
nutrition.
Bonus: You won’t have much room for those packaged, low-nutrient, colorless
foods from the center aisles of the store.
It’s a good idea also to follow a list and to shop after a meal so you
won’t get distracted by hunger. Stuck waiting at the checkout? Compare the
contents of your cart with others.  If yours is the most colorful, you’re
on the right track.
• FOOD GROUPS – In addition to those colorful fruits and vegetables, you’ll
also need grains, proteins, dairy and healthy fats. An easy way to improve
the quality of your diet is to think about your meals, and whether they
include items from each of the food groups. It’s true that there are
certain numbers of servings recommended for each food group. But don’t get
too wrapped up in counting and measuring if that will only stress you out.
As long as you make fruits and vegetables the stars of your plate, and use
whole grains, lean proteins and no- or low-fat dairy as side dishes, you’ll
be well on your way to better nutrition.

•       COUNT THE COLORS – If you’re going to count anything, let it be the
natural colors of fresh foods — greens, oranges, yellows, purples and reds.
Colorful foods are not only nutritious but they satisfy the mind, too.
Make a game out of seeing how many colors you’ve eaten each day.
•       EXPERIMENT – Even if you think you don’t like red cabbage, orange
peppers or purple eggplant, experiment with them. Maybe it’s been years
since you’ve tried them, or maybe they weren’t well prepared. Try a new
recipe (many grocery produce aisles feature suggestions on preparing exotic
fruits and veggies). Or try tricks that are often prescribed for finicky
kids, such as cutting new-to-you food items in small pieces and mixing them
with more familiar foods. If in the end you still don’t like it, that’s
fine. But you might surprise yourself.
•       EAT IN – When you dine out you have much less control over what you
eat than when you prepare meals at home.  Restaurants are more concerned
with what most people think tastes good, and these days, that often means a
lot of added salt, sugar, and fat.  Spend the time (and money) you would
have spent going out shopping for great food and making delicious food at
home.  Make eating out an occasional activity rather than a lifestyle.
Eating nutritiously is a gradual, personal growth process.  Remember that
nobody’s perfect, not even the experts.  Be colorful, have fun, look for
good-tasting foods that are also good for you, and be aware of what you’re
eating.  With time, while you’re having fun with color, you’ll sense your
body avoiding foods that hamper your health and being drawn toward those
that make your body sing.

Previously published in the St. Petersburg Times

It’s so frustrating to go on a diet and lose weight, only to regain it.
Frustrating, but common — studies show 90 percent of dieting attempts fail.
What can we do to improve our chances?
Despite overwhelming evidence that most diets fail, ever more people are
vulnerable to quick weight loss promises that won’t work in the long run.
Most of these people have histories of going on and off diets, over and
over again.
Diets may be one of the few things that intelligent people will keep trying
even after repeated failures.
What do the lucky 10 percent know about losing weight and keeping it off?
The problem is that people usually confuse weight loss with fat loss.
Actually, the faster the weight is lost, the more likely it is that the
weight lost is water or muscle, not fat. A lot of research has been done
showing that fad diets show particularly dismal results.
But it’s fat that people want to lose and they want to lose it for good —
not to gain it all back and have to start dieting all over again.
So don’t just go on yet another diet. First, stop and think.

•••

If you have a long history of on-and-off dieting it’s time to face the fact
that what you’ve been doing doesn’t work.
Maybe you’ve tried a bunch of diets with different names, like the Low Carb
Diet, the Blood Type Diet, the Grapefruit Diet. But consider what was
similar about them. Did they eliminate particular foods completely? Did
they emphasize fast weight loss? Did they not include exercise?
If you are a first time dieter, learn through the experience of others
rather than following them down the road of fad diets that don’t yield
lasting results.
Preparing yourself psychologically in this way will keep you on the right
track to successful weight loss and maintenance, not just this summer but
every summer from here on out.

•••

If you want this next weight loss attempt to be your final effort because
it actually worked, try these tips:
1. Focus on the behaviors (portion control, increased activity, better
nutrition) that help you lose fat, rather than achieving a weight goal
number.
2. Make sure that you include consistent aerobic exercise in your plan.
3. Don’t set a time limit for your goal. Instead, keep your mind focused on
the forest (the rest of your life) instead of the trees (an upcoming
wedding or bathing suit season).
4. Don’t go on a rigid, stringent, fad diet of any kind. If it sounds
depriving, you need to consider something else.
5. Make sure that the eating and exercise plan you go on is one that you
can follow for the rest of your life. For example, are you really going to
be able to keep buying expensive food through the mail?
6.      Your body has genetic limits. You don’t know if your body will be
able to reach the ultimate weight goal you have in mind. Instead, keep
doing what will make you leaner and healthier and let your body take care
of the weight. It will show you what its best weight is.
7.      Take time to keep your fridge stocked with easy to prepare,
nutritious alternatives.  Get rid of those foods that don’t fit a healthy
lifestyle and fill the fridge with luscious, colorful, fresh foods.  It may
require a stop at the grocery store more often but fresh food actually
requires less cooking — or even no cooking — which saves time in the end.
8. Reinforce, compliment, and pat yourself on the back often.  Stop the
criticism and judgment altogether.  The psychology of weight management is
a key factor that is usually ignored.  If you don’t do the right things
emotionally, psychological barriers will continue to get in your way.
You don’t want to put all that effort into losing weight only to regain it
and more. Let’s do it differently this time.

Previously published in the St. Petersburg Times

It’s good to learn from our mistakes.  The more we pay attention to what
we’ve done wrong in the past the more successful we’ll be in the future.
This is certainly true when it comes to weight loss and fitness.  And, for
some reason, when it comes to dealing with weight, many people put their
blinders on and don’t look back to see what they’ve done wrong. This only
leads to a seemingly endless cycle of failures.  It’s no wonder most
dieters are frustrated, anxious, and often hungry.
I believe people ought to try to become better consumers of dieting
information just as they try to be careful when it comes to buying
electronics, baby car seats or hair straighteners.  In 2011, wouldn’t it be
nice to stop being frustrated and confused by all the weight loss diets and
products that are thrown at you daily?
With this in mind, I have put together a list of the Top 10 dieting
mistakes I see people make over and over again. If you notice that any of
them apply to you, try to focus on correcting these barriers to your
fitness, and see what kind of progress you can make.
1.      Looking for quick fixes through fad diets. The mind tends to resist
when it feels deprived, and the result is loss of control over food.  The
body needs the right nutrition to function well, and without it,
fat-burning can slow down so that you hang on to fat instead of releasing
it. Quick test: If you can’t picture yourself following the plan for a
lifetime, don’t bother for even a few weeks.
2.      No regular exercise. The people who are most successful with weight
and fitness tend to be active on a regular basis, yet most dieters don’t
take advantage of this wonderful tool.
3.      Undereating. The body has a wonderful ability to slow down its
metabolism when it’s not getting enough fuel to function.  Undereating
means losing fat more slowly, and when normal eating resumes, putting it
back on faster.
4.      Skipping meals. Going without food for too long can result in
overeating due to ravenous hunger and a slower metabolism.  Consider
smaller portions, four or five times a day.
5.      Drinking too many calories and not drinking enough water. Liquid
calories count just as much as the solid variety, only they don’t satisfy
you. On the other hand, not drinking enough water can lead to thirst that
can be confused for hunger.  But being hydrated helps the body perform all
its tasks more efficiently — including fat burning.
6.      Getting too hungry. If you want to control your food intake properly,
a good trick is to not allow hunger to go beyond a “3” on a scale from 0 to
5 (0=no hunger, 5=ravenous).
7.      Eating late at night. At night our body starts to slow down,
readying itself for sleep. Metabolism slows and any calories eaten are more
likely to be stored as fat.  Try to eat your last meal by 6 p.m.  If you
get hungry later it probably means you didn’t eat enough during the day.
Pay attention to hunger at night by eating a light snack but then focus on
eating properly the next day to avoid late night hunger.
8.      Not eating breakfast. After many hours without food the body is
ready to be fed and start burning.  Not eating breakfast keeps metabolism
low, which is why numerous studies show the most successful dieters don’t
skip this meal.  If you think you can’t eat in the morning, start with
small quantities and slowly increase your intake until you are eating an
adequate amount.
9.      Over-focusing on weight and food. This kind of preoccupation with
food can increase cravings to eat. So put the focus where it counts – on
the behaviors of increasing quality of eating and activity level.
10.     Thinking negatively. Judging yourself harshly is self-defeating. Not
only does it affect motivation, but it increases stress levels, leading to
overeating. Instead, pat yourself on the back for every small step forward.

Previously published in the St. Petersburg Times

Most diets leave a person battling with hunger yet the most effective way to lose weight should not involve any struggle with hunger.

The body needs food to survive and one of the ways the body makes sure that it gets this fuel is through the feeling of hunger. For most people in developed countries, not having enough food is not a problem. Instead, people are more concerned with losing weight and controlling their eating. The body has a fine balance, however, and eating too little by ignoring hunger can lead to gaining weight rather than losing it. This is often what is behind the yo-yo pattern of weight loss and regaining typical of most dieters. Successful weight loss is not a matter of how little a person can eat, but how they balance their eating.

Not only does the body’s metabolism slow down if it’s not fed enough (leading to a body that stores fat readily and burns it more slowly), but ignoring hunger to the point of excess leads to out of control eating. Almost everyone has experienced the feeling of ravenous hunger at one time or another and its resulting feeding frenzy. A slower metabolism and overeating spell weight gain, not loss. Clearly, careful care of hunger is important in any plan for losing weight.

The mind is an important part of behavior change especially when it comes to the complicated task of losing weight.

Ten Mind Tools For Successful Weight Loss

1. Keep track of hunger - When the body needs fuel the brain will push you to eat. The hungrier you are, the stronger the push making it difficult to control eating if you wait too long to eat. A simple mind tool is to use a hunger scale from 0-5, with 0 being no hunger and 5 being extremely hungry to the point that you can’t focus on anything else. The trick is to try to eat early, when you first start feeling hungry (2) and not going beyond a 3. The sooner you eat when hungry the sooner you will be satisfied and the less you will eat.
2. Slow down eating - Fast eaters tend to consume more food. Focus on slowing down eating by savoring food – chew it thoroughly, focus on appreciating all the flavors of the food, involve all the senses in savoring the food such as noticing the textures, the colors and the smells as well as the taste. Swallow before taking another bite, take a sip of water between bites, and take the time to look around and “smell the roses.” Too many people gobble down food without taking the time to appreciate it. There are few things people do more often than eat so we might as well enjoy it.
3. Keep nutritious foods in stock at all times – In our hectic culture, if food isn’t easily accessible we’re not likely to eat it. If the accessible foods are junk foods, that’s what will be reached for first. Instead, have plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grain foods, and nutritious goodies available and the brain will go for those first instead of the junk
4. Brush teeth after eating - Brushing your teeth after eating eliminates the food taste from your mouth and the signals to the brain that encourage it to want to eat more. The fresh, minty taste from the toothpaste soon becomes a signal that the meal is over and you can go on to doing other things without urges for more food.
5. Think ahead when leaving the house - Consider whether you’ll be gone at meal time or when you’re likely to get hungry, and make a plan. Sometimes it means eating something before you go out or taking something for the road.
6. Don’t go to the grocery store hungry - It’s better to eat first or wait until after a meal when your brain will not be susceptible to the temptations.
7. Don’t try to eliminate favorite foods - This will only make you feel deprived and, sooner or later, the favorite food will be eaten anyway. This strategy only leads to compulsive eating of the same favorite foods that were being eliminated.
8. Never skip meals or go long periods without eating – These strategies only result in a slower metabolism and rabid hunger – both of which lead to weight gain.
9. Make health rather than weight loss the priority – If you strive for health, not weight, the weight will come off anyway, but you’ll find it to be an easier road.
10. Don’t take life too seriously - The more relaxed and happy a person is the easier it is for him to lose weight. Ironically, the more intensely a person tries to lose weight, the harder it will be.

By using the mind tools above and those from Ten Mind Tips for Losing Weight,the best foot is stepping forward toward health, weight loss, and fitness.

It can be frustrating to go on a diet and lose weight only to regain it. After all, 90% of dieting attempts fail. What can we do to improve our chances?

Despite being told that most diets fail, the public is still vulnerable to quick weight loss promises that won’t work in the long run. Most of these people have histories of going on and off diets, over and over again. It’s puzzling why they would try the same approaches that haven’t worked in the past. Perhaps it’s that little voice saying, “Maybe it will work this time.” “Maybe this diet will work.”

What do People Really Want in a Weight Loss Plan?

People want to lose weight, they want to lose weight fast, and they want to lose weight permanently. There are a million things that will cause weight loss. Any diet, fast, or exercise program where one burns more energy than one takes in, is going to result in weight loss. There are also many things that produce quick weight loss if you’re not talking just fat loss (such as water loss or muscle loss).

The problem is that people usually confuse fat loss with weight loss. Just because there is weight loss doesn’t mean that there is a loss of an equal amount of fat. Actually, the faster the weight is lost, the more likely it is that the weight lost is more water or muscle, than fat. But it’s fat that people want to lose and they want to lose it for good – not to gain it all back and have to start dieting all over again.

How Can One Avoid the Pitfalls of Dieting?

The first thing to do before embarking on a weight loss program is to be honest with yourself. If you are a person with a long history of on-and-off dieting it’s time to face the fact that the types of diets you’ve been on don’t work. Those diets weren’t different from each other just because they had different names (i.e. The Low Carb Diet, The Blood Type Diet, The Grapefruit Diet). Look at what was similar about them. For example, were they stringent diets, did they eliminate particular foods completely, did they not include exercise?

If you are a first time dieter, learn through the experience of others. To date, a lot of research has been done showing that most dieting attempts fail and that fad diets show particularly dismal results. Don’t go down the same road that many others have found to be the wrong road.

Want Your Efforts to Lose Weight to be Permanent?

Consider this Advice:

1. Focus on the behaviors (portion control, increased activity, better nutrition) that help you lose fat, rather than a weight goal number .
2. Make sure that you include consistent aerobic exercise in your plan.
3. Don’t set a time limit for your goal.
4. Don’t go on a rigid, stringent, fad diet of any kind.
5. Make sure that the eating and exercise plan you go on is one that you can follow for the rest of your life.
6. Your body has genetic limits. You don’t know if your body will be able to reach the ultimate goal you have in mind. Instead, keep doing what will make you leaner and healthier and let your body take care of the weight. It will show you how low it can go.

By following these steps, you will keep from falling into the yo-yo trap. You don’t want to put all that effort into losing weight only to regain it and more like most people who go on “diets.”