Don’t Let Fear of Others’ Judgment Keep You from Being Active

by Dr. Rodriguez on January 30, 2012

Do you have a sincere desire to become more fit and healthy in 2012, but the idea of exercising outdoors or in a public gym brings you to a dead stop?

Many people who are self-conscious about their size or fitness level find it uncomfortable or even distressing to exercise in public. Maybe they believe that others are looking at them critically. They might think they don’t fit in with fit people. They may even fear someone is going to say something insulting to them.

It’s common to put off walking around the neighborhood or joining a gym, thinking, “When I lose weight I’ll get out there and start training.”

Invariably, that day never comes. Few people can manage their weight without incorporating exercise. Most likely more weight is gained and more precious health is compromised.

Because of society’s bias when it comes to weight, it’s understandable why many people have such fear of exercising in public. Yet most of the beliefs that keep people from moving forward with their fitness are just that – beliefs. Here are some points that are closer to the truth:

. More often than not, people are too concerned about themselves to worry about those around them. In fact, the person whose opinion you fear may herself worry about what others are thinking about her. More likely, however, she’s thinking about other things entirely.

. You are not a mind reader. So you could be completely wrong in your beliefs about what others think, yet you’re allowing those beliefs to rule your life.

. It’s not other people’s thoughts that make us feel bad, it’s our own. It’s important to realize that it’s your own thinking that’s in your way, not the thinking of others.

. Even if you were openly ridiculed early in life because of weight, that experience does not have to rule your life any longer. It was unacceptable for anyone to mock you as a child; it’s equally unacceptable for you to keep ridiculing yourself. Everyone has the right to pursue health and happiness, so it’s important to treat yourself the way you wish to be treated by others.

As a young psychologist, I worked with a very large patient whom I will never forget – not because of his size, but because of his determination. We not only worked on his fitness by walking together, we worked on his thinking about exercising in public.

He wanted to participate in an organized 5K run, but he didn’t want to wait until he was thin. Instead, he decided to train and run it at whatever weight he was on the day of the race.

He was larger than most of the runners. There was no getting around the fact that people would look at him: Race spectators are there to watch the runners.

We jogged and walked for the entire 5K, and we did attract attention.

But it was all positive. Everyone was cheering him on and, in the end, he got his picture in the paper, a ribbon, and a huge amount of pride in himself. Mostly, he felt pride for not letting the thoughts of others keep him from doing what he wanted to do with his life.

So, if worrying about what others think of you is keeping you from being as active as you wish to be, explore your thoughts and beliefs and work at turning them around so that they no longer get in your way. Focus on your goal, be proud of yourself for working on it, and enjoy every minute of it. Let others take care of themselves.

Previously published in St. Petersburg Times

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How to Motivate Yourself to Exercise

by Dr. Rodriguez on January 21, 2012

“I can’t seem to get enough motivation to exercise.”  Motivation is something that people find to be mysterious and out of reach – especially when it comes to being able to exercise consistently, instead of in the start-and-stop fashion that many people find so frustrating and defeating.

Yet, having the motivation to exercise isn’t as mysterious as it’s believed to be.  It’s within everyone’s reach.  It’s just that people tend to look for it in the wrong places and have expectations that immediately put them at a disadvantage before they’ve even begun to exercise.

In my experience, the three most common reasons why people have difficulty finding motivation to exercise are the following:

  1. They think exercise has to be more intense than it has to be.  “When I lose weight I’ll be able to exercise the way it should be done.”  Barring any medical reason why you’ve been advised not to, exercise can be done anytime and at any body size as long as you realize that the only requirement is that you move consistently, frequently, and easily.  You don’t have to perform any particular type of exercise.  You don’t have to exercise at any particular speed or intensity.  You simply start from your current fitness level and “move” more than that level.  Exercise should not be a strain or feel painful.  If it is, it’s too intense.  So ease up a little, but keep moving until you’ve reached a level where it feels comfortable. For example, if you’re walking at a speed that feels too difficult, uncomfortable, or unenjoyable, slow down until it feels like you’re working harder than usual but it also feels relatively easy.

 

If you think of exercise as having to be something that’s intense, it’s logical that your mind won’t want to do it.  No one wants to do something that seems overwhelming.  It should be no big surprise, then, that you would resist anything that feels out of reach.  Make it reachable and you’ll keep doing it. It doesn’t matter how simple the activity seems compared to what you see other people do.  If you start at your level, you’ll want to keep doing it.  There will be opportunities to increase intensity later and you’ll still feel comfortable.

2. They think they have few options with exercise and none appeal to them.  Instead, exercise can be whatever you want it to be as long as you move consistently.  You do not have to be a runner, a walker, or a gym person.  Perhaps you’re more of a dancer, a rope jumper, a hiker, a stair climber, or like to jump up and down while watching TV.  You pick the exercise – whatever it is.  Make it your own and you’ll be more likely to want to stay with it because you’ll like it.

3. They only want to exercise to lose weight.  Weight loss alone is not a good motivator because of the short-term nature of it.  If your brain isn’t thinking past losing weight, what will be the incentive to keep being active for the rest of your life?  The person needs to find a long-term reason to exercise in addition to weight control.  The best motivating approach is one which includes a life-time goal of health and fitness mixed with short-term goals that are directly related to the long-term goal.  For instance, frequently reminding yourself that the main reason for exercising is to achieve older age without diabetes, cholesterol, or blood pressure problems like too many people have today, can keep the larger and more important picture in focus.  Try to imagine how the exercise you’re doing each day is insuring that your muscles stay strong enough to allow you to get around independently or  look healthy and strong at any age.

 

Within this global focus you can have short-term goals that give you an extra push – like walking a little further or lifting a heavier weight today.  With any goal, however, attitude is everything so keep challenges fun and achievable.

 

Remember, being fit and lean are both important for health, but if you’re only focusing on the number on a scale you’re missing the point as well as the motivation that will keep you wanting to exercise.

 

In short, motivation is the feeling of wanting to approach something because we imagine it to be a good thing.  Nothing destroys motivation faster than anticipating something negative or even torturous.  It’s human nature to avoid such negative things.

 

However, the human brain is intelligent and it can think about pleasurable things, also.  So use that wonderful brain and create your own enjoyable ways to move more in your life.  You’ll be surprised how quickly motivation will appear.

By Lavinia Rodriguez, Ph.D.

Previously published in the St. Petersburg Times

 

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Resolutions

by Dr. Rodriguez on January 3, 2012

I wish I could write the weight loss resolution article to end all weight loss resolutions.

Why?  Because, if I could convince people to adopt the right behaviors for managing their health, it would make this annual ritual obsolete.  By following the right behaviors, setbacks would be rare and so minor, they would have little negative impact.

But here we are — another new year and people are still looking for the answer to their weight struggles.

Here’s a question to consider: Are you looking to get those extra pounds off quickly, or are you willing to change your life and lose the weight slowly but permanently? I’m going to bet that you would like to end the cycle of up and down
pounds with its potential for negatively affecting your health in the long run.

If that’s the case, it’s important to recognize that some kinds of resolutions can actually stand in the way of reaching that important goal.

Among them:

•       Focusing on the scale. It’s surprising how often people expect their body to achieve some arbitrary weight. If you’ve always been told to keep your goals specific, it may make sense to to declare, “My goal is 115 pounds.  I’m going to keep going until I get to that weight.”

But there’s a genetic component to weight management. Stubbornly insistingon getting to 115, if that’s not a reasonable goal for your body, will only backfire. Either you’ll make yourself sick, or you’ll rebel against your strict diet, gaining even more weight.

The logical way to approach weight loss is to focus on lifestyle changes in diet and exercise that will help you burn fat while eating healthfully.

Once you’ve done that, allow your body to show you what it’s capable of doing.  If, say, you stabilize at 130 pounds, consider if there are other reasonable changes you could make to discover if your body has a leaner yet still healthy plateau.  If not, then celebrate your achievement, maintain your new habits and move on with life.

•       Taking away rather than adding. People tend to think that the best strategy for losing weight is to cut out carbs, calories or fats. This approach, however, is psychologically ineffective.  The mind cooperates much more happily when we decide to add rather than take away. This is why it probably sounds less daunting to add a salad every day than it would to cut out fast food entirely. Adding healthy foods and habits tends to displace unhealthy ones, but in a more appealing way.

• Missing the pattern. Losing weight and keeping it off is more complicated than simply going on the latest diet and hitting the gym a few times a week.  Sure, you’re putting in a good effort. But if your body isn’t reacting as you would like, it’s time to look for the reasons rather than just continuing to do the same things expecting different results.

Often, there’s a simple pattern that is holding you back. Perhaps you’re in the habit of going out to eat too frequently. Even “healthy’’ establishments usually provide meals with more calories than you’d prepare for yourself. Tweaking just this one habit can make a tremendous impact on your weight.

If you’re serious about making this the year that you get off the weight gain/loss rollercoaster, here are some resolutions that can make a major impact:

•       Educate yourself about healthy eating.  There are plenty of sound websites to peruse such as www.choosemyplate.gov/.

•       Take cooking classes that focus on how to eat nutritiously with little-to-no cooking.

•       Vow to try a variety of ways to exercise and find out which you like best.

•       Learn to stretch on a regular basis.  The older we get the more important it becomes.

•       Learn to meditate.  Decreasing stress makes it easier to control portions.

If the same old weight loss resolutions have never worked for you in the past, why would you think they’ll work now? Instead, look for vows that address your real problems, and that you can stick with all year around.

 

Previously published in The St. Petersburg Times

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Traditions – Start Your Own

January 1, 2012 Read the full article →

Why do we have traditions? Why do we feel compelled to do things the same way every year, running around like crazy to get everything done just perfectly? Does it have to be this way or can we take back control? Even if you love traditions, it’s easy to lose touch with what they’re supposed [...]

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November 22, 2011 Read the full article →

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Food Psychology and the Holidays

November 14, 2011 Read the full article →

Now that Halloween is behind us, the holiday season is off and running. With it comes all the goodies that we so desire and that we so fear will make us overindulge. But with a little planning, the food conflicts that can drain the joy from the holidays can be a thing of the past. [...]

For Fat Loss, Don’t Eat too Many Calories or too Few

October 27, 2011 Read the full article →

The greatest myth about calories and losing weight is this: The less you eat, the more you lose. The human body is not so simple. It’s built for the complicated work of survival. It kills foreign invaders, digests all kinds of things that we throw into it, it tries to make sure that we have [...]

Talking to Your Kids about Weight

October 12, 2011 Read the full article →

Parents have a lot of tough topics to bring up with their kids. Sex, drugs, smoking, drinking, stranger danger, the internet, bullying and appropriate friends are fairly standard. But with a third of American kids being overweight or obese, a lot of parents’ lists get even longer and touchier. According to a recent survey by [...]

Marriage and Fat: Do the Two Have to Go Together?

September 16, 2011 Read the full article →

  Do people tend to gain weight after they “settle down” with a romantic partner?  This is a question that interests some researchers.  While there are still questions to be answered about this issue, a number of studies have found that obesity appears to be associated with romantic couples living together (married or not) and [...]

Do Women Really Know What Men Find Attractive?

September 12, 2011 Read the full article →

The pursuit of thinness long has been a major preoccupation for American women. But why are women trying to be downright slender, as opposed to maintaining a healthy weight?  If it’s for the approval of men, then women seem to be putting themselves through needless worry and discomfort. I work with a lot of women [...]

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